Random Thoughts-Because TODAY demands some thinking, no matter how disjointed

#1. At times life seems to be a balancing act. Very few rules always apply, I need balance. But it can be easy to rely on a crutch-i.e.-just be positive, just let it go, just ignore it, be kind, be a jerk. Life presents such a wide variety, judgement is called for. The crutch means you don't have to think, you just fall back on a code, or habit, or behavior and damn the consequences. The crutch can prevent you from falling, from getting hurt, or even worrying about getting hurt.

I don't think balance is easy. To me it seems like trying to keep a boat or vehicle on course when the steering equipment is so incredibly sensitive that overcorrection is almost a given.

#2. I sometimes think I’m in control. I tell myself stuff, see myself in a place and start to think that it was entirely my own forethought and actions that put me where I am. I’ve done this for both good and bad situations; have to be honest, right? And yet, if I am honest, I realize there's more to it. Events beyond my control, beyond my sphere of influence, will happen and I will be affected.

How much is really under my control?

Can you improve your life through positive thinking? Or can you just numb yourself to reality enough that you no longer feel any pain. No pain, better life, right? I think not.

#3. What am I? Some time back I had this vision of myself, and of course I projected this view onto every one else. But it starts with me, in the center, surrounded by a most elaborate setup of funhouse mirrors. The mirrors are my mind, body, personality, and experiences. Reality, what's outside my mirrors, gets distorted on the way in. And interestingly enough, just it coming in changes the mirrors ever so slightly. The mirrors of course work in both directions. I may have sincere intentions, but things get twisted on their way out. And if it is in regards to someone else, well then their mirrors will further amplify the effect.

#4 Apparently another way to ask "Who am I" is "To what should I attend"

#5. Concerning the past and its present effects there is a really neat bit at the end of "When the Legends Die" by Hal Borland that talks about chipmunks and their stripes. I'll put it up later.

#6. Not mine, I'm stealing. The paradoxical part of the identification syndrome is that until it has been resolved there can be no friendship and no love-only hate. Until we can allow others to be themselves, and others to be free, it is impossible to truly love another human being; neurotic and dependent love is, perhaps possible, but not genuine love, which can be generated only in the self. ~ E.T. Hall from Beyond Culture

In other words, by understanding and accepting yourself, you can understand and accept others.

Summary: Any one of these, if properly expounded upon, could have been great blog entries. But I just haven't felt up to it. Oh well, time for bed.